Triggering words said to me in an emotional moment after a rough day..after an emotional day. My emotions becoming tears that are the drip drip dripping to a cup that is filled to the brim. Moments away from breaching the threshold.
In the back of my mind the demon screams we need physical pain to tame us. My skin still aches in these moments.. years later... I won't do it.. I can't do it.. I want to do it..
Changes in my life are in the possible near future. And my mind reminds me that it could all just not happen, then what? The anxiety of it all eats at my soul. The anger and rage built inside is a different level of evil eating away at my soul. The constant "why would anything good happen to you?" The "if you do this someone or something will prove you a fraud" a fraud of what I have no actual idea.
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