Hurting others

Life Isnt What you expect it to be. I have problems with that. Not with others, just with me. I say what i feel at the time and sometimes that hurts people. I speak my mind, i dont mean to hurt anyone but sometimes that is how things get across. I am sorry if i have hurt anyone but not sorry for speaking out. I have trust issues and sometimes that will push people away. Yeah i know it sucks.

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I never want to hurt anyone, i just end up doing it. my heart is a graveyard, with a sharp metal fence around it. locked up tight without a key.

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Adventures of Honda Boy and White Girl

The other day, I went on to a chat site as a joke, and a guy added me. We talked for a few hours, and then he asked me if i wanted to hang out some time. so i said sure. but not thinking he was serious. so i came up wth an excuse not to go. but then later that day felt bad for lying. SO i went on line, and to no surprise he was too. My family had left for the night, and it was just my dad and i at home. So i opened messenger, and talked to him just to see what he was doing that night.
And after a while we decided that we should go see a movie, we decided which one, and he came and picked me up. But not before an awkward moment with my dad trying to get to know him. I couldnt even tell him cause i didnt know much aobut him. But yeah. we got to the theatre and decided to see HP5 tho we both had seen it.
So to make the story shorter, i will get to the chase. a few minutes into the movie, he asked if he could kiss me. but i told him no. so he said that it was ok, and that i could trust him. because i told him i have trust issues. but then he continued to ask me, and attempt to kiss me. till finally he got his arm around me and kinda brought me closer to him. and thats when he kissed me. it was totally awkward.and to make a story even shorter, we ended up making out for about half the movie. and then in the car too, along with a little more. until i demanded he take me home.

but that wasnt the point of the story. the point was that he wasnt even a good kisser, and yet i continued to kiss him. i mainly kissed him so he would shut up, because he isnt that interesting of a person. and the weird thing is that i feel he was only telling me things because he wanted me to trust him, even tho i knew in side i couldnt. even not, a few days later, i become nauseauos just thinking about that night. ugh....
He isnt a bad person, he just says those lines that all guys say that you know you cant trust. and i guess thats what scares me. I have been burned so manytimes, that i dont want to get close to anyone. as lame as that is.