Another bad day in my body.

I need help again but know it can't happen because we can't afford it. I hate geting poor. Why can't life be different? Why can't I have a family who doesn't yell at me all the time? Why can't I have a brother who loves me? why can't I be smarter? Skinnier? Self confidential? Happy? Healthy? I wish it would just end. When is the light gonna shine? When will I be happy again? Truly happy. Probably never. And that's why life sucks. I hate it, I hate my family, I hate my friends. How can you take a life without destroying a world? How can you make someone so happy that they can love you for you? How do you find someone to do that? What do do you have to do to get someone to love you forever? How do you get them to accept you for who you are with all your habits and scars and mental issues? This I may never know.