Sick

This week I had a sick week. Last tuesday I was beginning to get body aches and a fever of 101.1 and throughout the week my fever peaked at 104.1. I went 4 days without eating and only got up to get water and to pee. I'm still kinda sick, but hey its better than before, and I don't have a fever anymore.

Adele says things my heart cant

So I got the Adele cd this week, and wow her music explains my love live so well. So here are the lyrics to her song Tired

Hold my hand While you cut me down It had only just begun But now it's over now And your In the heat of moments With your heart Playing up cold I'm between the middle Watching hastiness unfold In my eyes Your were smiling In the spotlight dancing With the night The night fell Off your mind I'm tired of trying Your teasing ain't enough Fed up of biding your time When i don't get nothing back And for and for and for When i don't get nothing back Boy, I'm tired Where'd you go When you stay behind I looked up and inside down And outside only to find A double taking punching hard And laughing at my smile I get closer you Obviously prefer her Chorus: I'm tired of trying Your teasing ain't enough Fed up of biding your time When i don't get nothing back And for and for and for When i don't get nothing back Boy, I'm tired of trying Your teasing ain't enough Fed up of biding your time When i don't get nothing back And for and for and for When i don't get nothing back Boy, i'm tired (I should have known) Never mind said Your open arms I couldn't help Believe the trick me Back into them (Chorus)

Its late

Its late. I'm not tired, and all I really want to do is cry. For no reason either. I randomly have the un-wielding urge to ball my eyes out. I talked to Chris today and he pissed me off. We faught the dumbest stuff too. He has told me that he has thursday and friday off so we should go walking one of those days. But today when I asked him which day he told me he didn't think he knew when we could because his friends made plans for him. And that if he got back early enough from what he will be doing he might want to walk. So as it stands, as much as it pains me to know it, we probably won't go on our walk he has promised me. just like always he chooses his friends over me. I don't understand him, he says he wants to spend time with me but never follows through, and the day I flake he is a total jerk. I hate how much I like him.

I EFFED UP

So I'm pretty sure I just screwed my chances with Chris. Today was a frustrating milestone. I don't remember how it came up, but Chris asked me what draws people to him. I told him it was because he has the ability to make people love him. So of course he asked how he did that because he thought he sucked. So I told him its a love/hate thing. That of course made him ask what the love thing was, so I told him it was his hands, height, hair, the fact that he was very random, his eyes, he's a guys, he makes me feel special, and the way it feels when he holds my hand. He then asked if I wanted to go for a walk tonight. I asked how cold it was outside because I was cold enough. He didn't quite know but was willing to bring sub zero gear if I needed it. I still said no. So he said something that got me thinking. He said "to be fair id make you warm. But if that's not good enough what should I do?" so I said something about being cold already and not feeling up to it. He said "your problem is your cold? Ill make anything the way you want it trust me" I told him it was honestly very tempting but I was just gonna stay in and watch a movie. He told me he just got the movie Taken and I could come watch it. I told him I couldn't cause I have to get up early and asked what he was up to tomorrow night after 10 30. He said "hopefully I will be around :(. I have plans with my ex after work... unless I get better plans." I told him I worked from 3 45 to10. I would love to make plans if I could but I'm gonna be working. He ignored me after that. I told amber what I said and did. God I'm an idiot. I just know I messed thing up.

Random convo with my sister

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