Everything seems to be getting on my nerves lately. I'm tired of people slacking and me getting in trouble for it. I'm tired of having to tell someone to do the same tasks every freaking day and having them never catch on. I'm tired of no one listening, of never having a moment to be alone, of never knowing if someone will ever love me. I'm tired of not having better control on my life. I'm tired of my mother trying to finally set boundaaries I don't need only because I still live under her roof. I'm tired of having to pay her bills because she can't afford to. I'm tired of not having a life or atleast one I enjoy and will look back on and not hate it. I'm tired of the lame life I am living and the inabuility to be and do what feels right. I'm tired of conforming to what my mother and family think s what I should and need to be. Why can't I just be who I feel I should be? Why cant I be the one to break down my own conformist walls and live how I crave to be? Why you ask? Why? Because I'm a mormon. Because I hate hurting people even if it hurts me. Because being the real me would break. My mothers heart. To have another child fall away from the life she brought us up in. To have another child tell her that the life she chose for me is a life I hate and is the reason I hate her.
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