ashamed?

I know it's horrible but the only time I am ashamed of my body and what I have done to it is when I am around my family. It sucks because you are supposed to be comfortable around family, and all I want to do is hide and keep every inch coverd. It's not out of nowhere either. The other day my dad came home and was telling me about this girl we used to know and how she gained slot of weight. An when I told him I knew she had he was like " no she is HUGE!". Ok for one why an ass and two he lives in a house with three over weight ladies. And he doesn't expect me to be offended? Yeah right I already have an image problem I don't need my dad to tell me how disgusting fat girls are

i know this guy...

You know that boy who makes you smile everytime he around or even the thought of him makes your heart race? He's almost that guy. He's the guy you dont have to be scared around because he has too high of an expectation to know what you really want. He's the guy who wants ti make you happy, who wants to experience firsts with you. First love, kiss, relationship, passion. He's the guy I dream about. He is you... Whoever you are.

where?

Where is my one person to talk to? Where is the one person who understands all my babbling and crazy talk? Why the hell can't I find a guy who will even consider me and not be scared off by something weird I say?

Drunk feelings

I honestly don't feel bad about last night. I actually enjoyed the releasing of inhabitions and the taking down of sertain walls. Tho I did make it clear that if anyone touched me in my sleep or while crazy drunk I would stab them I was the one single girl out of the two girls there. There were groomsmen who by day creeped me out but by night I found rather charming and even got one to bite my wrist :) he was drunk also and was amused lol. I was asked twice that day both sober and not to have sex with him ... I refused. If I was to sleep with him it would not be on the first night or in a house with seriously 12 people in it. No thanks :)

So I got totally drunk last night. Not the first time but it was the first time I was completely smashed.