Update

The last few months have been very busy. My Grandfather got married in January and we are still getting used to having his lady in our lives but we seem to like her. B and I had our first date the weekend of my grandfathers wedding and became official exactly a month later. We have been together ever since. He is adorable and precious and we haven't said the L word yet but that's OK, I'm OK with that. I haven't met his parents or family or friends yet and that's a little weird considering he has met my family, the girls i work with and a cousin... just a bit odd. He makes me melt, and i am more comfortable around him than i am when I'm by myself. We have had many firsts and not all of them have been ones we had wanted to experience, but its something we worked through. For a long time we saw each other every 3 to 5 days but lately we have been hitting the every other Friday and have seemed to be running out of things to talk about. Work has been getting very stressful, i love the kids i really do but with the stress of health and love life and work in general its hard to enjoy it all that much. I Cut again a few months back and B knows about it and accepts that i do it tho he doesn't support the fact that i do it. I have been crying a lot and have been having the overwhelming feeling of emptiness and loneliness and the need to cry or throw up. Days where staying awake is so hard because sleep life is so much better than what is going on in life these days.