words i have heard before but at the time they have never hurt more. never did i think i would hear that from him. we were having a light hearted conversation and i know he didnt mean it to hurt me but the second he said it set a ping in my heart that has reverberated deep and lasted days.
I was a twin in the womb but only i survived and took up all the space.. i drown her to save myself basically. can you go to hell for killing someone before you are even born?
Mar 28, 2011
Mar 26, 2011
Mar 19, 2011
Ok FACT! I hate people and need to get away from everyone. I feel like in gonna explode! When people pick a fucking time to meet when they are the ones who are like oh no this time works better. And then they text at said time only to say they are just leaving makes me want to shoot people. I fucking stranded here people! You are my ride where the hell are you!?!
Im pretty sure Im a horrible person. im two different people and when they both think or feel at the same time i get a little sick. One is the good mormon girl who knows what os right and what isnt. she knows that treating her body like this and doing the things she does will only lead to hard times. when girl number two comes in and is all for the partying and the inappropriatness with boys and life and she loves it. she craves it like a drug. lately girl number 2 has been making her stand and in a way she seems to be winning the fight. honestly i dont know who i want to win.
Mar 17, 2011
we walked hand in hand down to the beach in the rain through the dark trail. went to the waters edge just in time for the clouds to part and the huge moon shine. "Wow thats beautiful." he says looking at the sky then down at me. "I mean can i kiss you." wow never thought that was how it would go down, but in my book he gets an A.
Mar 16, 2011
Last night
Last night I did things with him I thought I could only dream about. I didn't have sex but more happened then I have ever done. I first kiss started on the beach. I don't know why but I like kissing more than I enjoy it. Weird I know. He did things to me I am still sore from :) in a good way.
Mar 14, 2011
my Top 2 Most Emabarrassing moments
1: when I was maybe 12 or 13 i went to a water park with my aunt and cousin for a day of fun. My cousin is quite a bit younger than me and needed someone to ride with her. so i did. it was one of those rides that whips around really fast in all kinds of directs. well anyway, when we got to the front of the line the guy told me i could ride because I was pregnant. at the time i weighed no more that 145lbs and had size D breasts in a loose fit shirt. after i told him i wasn't pregnant and that i was only 13 he apologized and let me on. but people watched me.. it was horrible had to be my most embarrassing moment yet.
2: The moment i told my best friend I was in love with him. He was having a bad day and asked why people in general liked him. I started out with a few things i like about him and he was ok with it, but when i told him there was more he wass speachless. He was okay with it at first but after that he stopped textin me as much and we started to hang out even less than we were before whichh was hardly at all anyway. Its been 2 years and our relationship has almost recovered at one time but has dwinfled down to basically nothing, he doesnt even respond to texts anymore. He broke my heart.
2: The moment i told my best friend I was in love with him. He was having a bad day and asked why people in general liked him. I started out with a few things i like about him and he was ok with it, but when i told him there was more he wass speachless. He was okay with it at first but after that he stopped textin me as much and we started to hang out even less than we were before whichh was hardly at all anyway. Its been 2 years and our relationship has almost recovered at one time but has dwinfled down to basically nothing, he doesnt even respond to texts anymore. He broke my heart.
Mar 13, 2011
Mar 12, 2011
Mar 11, 2011
Survey time
[ ]I have eaten more than 5 meals a day.
[X] I have read a lot of books.
[ ] I have been on some sort of varsity team.
[ ] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.
[ ] I have been to Canada.
[X] I have watched cartoons for hours.
[X] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[X] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.
[ ] I have been snowboarding/skiing.
[X] I have played ping pong.
[X] I swam in the ocean.
[ ] I have been on a whale watch.
[X] I have seen fireworks.
[X] I have seen a shooting star.
[X] I have seen a meteor shower.
[X] I have almost drowned.
[ ] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.
[X] I have listened to one cd over & over & over again.
[X] I have had stitches.
[ ] I have been on the honor roll.
[ ] I have had frostbite.
[ ] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there
[X] I have stayed up til 2 doing homework/projects.
[X] I currently have a job.
[X] I have been ice skating.
[X] I have been rollerblading.
[X] I have fallen flat on my face.
[X] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[ ] I have been in a fist fight.
[X] have played videogames for more than 3 hours straight.
[X] I have watched the power rangers.
[X] I do/did attend Church regularly.
[X] I have played truth or dare.
[X] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[X] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[X] I've lost weight since one year ago.
[X] I've called someone stupid. And meant it.
[X] I've been in a verbal argument.
[X] I've cried in school.
[ ] I've played basketball on a team.
[ ] I've played baseball on a team.
[ ] I've played football on a team.
[ ] I've played soccer on a team.
[ ] I've done dance on a team.
[ ] I've played softball on a team.
[ ] I've played volleyball on a team.
[ ] I've played tennis on a team.
[ ] I've been on a track team.
[X] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[ ] I've bungee jumped.
[ ] I've climbed a rock wall.
[X] I've lost more than $20.
[X] I've called myself an idiot.
[X] I've called someone else an idiot.
[X]I've cried myself to sleep.
[X] I've had (or have) pets.
[X] I've owned a Spice Girls cd.
[X] I've owned a Britney Spears cd.
[X] I've owned an *NSYNC cd.
[X] I've owned a backstreet boys cd.
[ ] I've mooned someone.
[X] I've sworn at someone in authority.
[ ] I've been in the newspaper.
[ ] I've been on TV
[ ] I've been to Hawaii.
[ ] I've eaten sushi.
[ ] I've been on the other side of a waterfall.
[X] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[X]I've watched all the Harry Potter movies.
[ ] I've watched all of the Rocky movies.
[ ] I've watched the 3 stooges.
[X] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica.
[X] I've watched Looney Tunes.
[ ] I've been stuffed into a locker.
[ ] I've been called a geek.
[X] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.
[ ] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it.
[X] I've hugged my mom with the past 24 hours.
[ ] I've hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.
[X] Ive met a celebrity/music artist.
[X] I've written poetry.
[X] Ive been attracted to someone much older than me.
[X] I've been tickled till I've cried.
[X] I've tickled someone else until they cried.
[X] I've had/have siblings.
[X] Ive been to a rock concert.
[X] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it.
[ ] I've been in a play.
[ ]I've been picked last in gym class.
[ ] I've been picked first in gym class.
[ ] I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class.
[X] I've cried in front of my friends.
[ ] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages.
[ ] I've played Halo 2.
[ ] I've freaked out over a sports game.
[ ] I've been to Alaska.
[ ] I've been to China.
[ ] I've been to Spain.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[X] I've had a fight with someone on AIM
[X] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face.
[X] I've had serious converstations on an IM.
[X] I've forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me
[X] I've been forgiven.
[X] I've screamed at a scary movie.
[X] I've cried at a chick flick
[X]I've laughed at a scary movie
[ ] I've watched a lot of action movies.
[ ] I've screamed at the top of my lungs.
[ ] I've been to a rap concert.
[X] I have read a lot of books.
[ ] I have been on some sort of varsity team.
[ ] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.
[ ] I have been to Canada.
[X] I have watched cartoons for hours.
[X] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[X] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.
[ ] I have been snowboarding/skiing.
[X] I have played ping pong.
[X] I swam in the ocean.
[ ] I have been on a whale watch.
[X] I have seen fireworks.
[X] I have seen a shooting star.
[X] I have seen a meteor shower.
[X] I have almost drowned.
[ ] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.
[X] I have listened to one cd over & over & over again.
[X] I have had stitches.
[ ] I have been on the honor roll.
[ ] I have had frostbite.
[ ] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there
[X] I have stayed up til 2 doing homework/projects.
[X] I currently have a job.
[X] I have been ice skating.
[X] I have been rollerblading.
[X] I have fallen flat on my face.
[X] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[ ] I have been in a fist fight.
[X] have played videogames for more than 3 hours straight.
[X] I have watched the power rangers.
[X] I do/did attend Church regularly.
[X] I have played truth or dare.
[X] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[X] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[X] I've lost weight since one year ago.
[X] I've called someone stupid. And meant it.
[X] I've been in a verbal argument.
[X] I've cried in school.
[ ] I've played basketball on a team.
[ ] I've played baseball on a team.
[ ] I've played football on a team.
[ ] I've played soccer on a team.
[ ] I've done dance on a team.
[ ] I've played softball on a team.
[ ] I've played volleyball on a team.
[ ] I've played tennis on a team.
[ ] I've been on a track team.
[X] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[ ] I've bungee jumped.
[ ] I've climbed a rock wall.
[X] I've lost more than $20.
[X] I've called myself an idiot.
[X] I've called someone else an idiot.
[X]I've cried myself to sleep.
[X] I've had (or have) pets.
[X] I've owned a Spice Girls cd.
[X] I've owned a Britney Spears cd.
[X] I've owned an *NSYNC cd.
[X] I've owned a backstreet boys cd.
[ ] I've mooned someone.
[X] I've sworn at someone in authority.
[ ] I've been in the newspaper.
[ ] I've been on TV
[ ] I've been to Hawaii.
[ ] I've eaten sushi.
[ ] I've been on the other side of a waterfall.
[X] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[X]I've watched all the Harry Potter movies.
[ ] I've watched all of the Rocky movies.
[ ] I've watched the 3 stooges.
[X] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica.
[X] I've watched Looney Tunes.
[ ] I've been stuffed into a locker.
[ ] I've been called a geek.
[X] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.
[ ] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it.
[X] I've hugged my mom with the past 24 hours.
[ ] I've hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.
[X] Ive met a celebrity/music artist.
[X] I've written poetry.
[X] Ive been attracted to someone much older than me.
[X] I've been tickled till I've cried.
[X] I've tickled someone else until they cried.
[X] I've had/have siblings.
[X] Ive been to a rock concert.
[X] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it.
[ ] I've been in a play.
[ ]I've been picked last in gym class.
[ ] I've been picked first in gym class.
[ ] I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class.
[X] I've cried in front of my friends.
[ ] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages.
[ ] I've played Halo 2.
[ ] I've freaked out over a sports game.
[ ] I've been to Alaska.
[ ] I've been to China.
[ ] I've been to Spain.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[X] I've had a fight with someone on AIM
[X] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face.
[X] I've had serious converstations on an IM.
[X] I've forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me
[X] I've been forgiven.
[X] I've screamed at a scary movie.
[X] I've cried at a chick flick
[X]I've laughed at a scary movie
[ ] I've watched a lot of action movies.
[ ] I've screamed at the top of my lungs.
[ ] I've been to a rap concert.
Mar 7, 2011
Mar 2, 2011
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