yesterday i i achieved something i thought i would never be able to do. i kissed my friend B, i have wanted to do it for 6 years and when i sawhim yesterday i just did it. it wasnt a make out kind of kiss just a sweet peck on the lips.. the best part was when he kissed me back

down 26.6lbs in a little over a year

im down 26.6lbs. still a size 16 but atleast im getting smaller

well today was 200 days... its been a hell of a week. she got custody of one of the kids and has to wait till the 30th to see if she gets the other one. the child protective system is screwed up!

Awaiting the days when life isn't constant hell

I knew she would

I knew she would do it. That skank told my mom a lot of my secrets that I knew would break my moms heart and that whore did it! All because I am trying to protect her kids from their awful mother. And now she is trying to tell the court that I am a danger to her kids because I cut. That is bs! I hurt myself not other people.. Tho watch out world who knows lol jk. Even the social worker says she doesn't have much of a case and that I should put a restraining order against her. Let's hope it doesn't come to that. But even so I can't be alone with her children until further notice, not that I';m ever alone with them.. God can't wait for this to be over.

I have chosen

So I have chosen a side in a custody battle and it is not my ex-bestfriends side. Yes there will be repercussions, and mostlikely some threats but the kids deserve a good home even if that isn't with their mother.

its been 193 days

its been a while, im still fighting with myself about cutting and for now the good side is winning

So in the last month I have lost three people in my life. One was a coworker who died in his home from a disease doctors could not name, he had suffered from if for almost 10 years. Another was my aunt who in her old age died of repetitious strokes. And the third was a friend who died in Afghanistan fighting for his country. All good people who made peoples lives better anyway they could. Now they are with god.

i will always know they are there... even when you dont..
and if i forget, i have a box full of sharp objects to help me remember.