Realizing

Today I realized. I really want to be a mom I just know that I won't be good at it so I don't want to give myself the option

Hate kids

You know what's sad? Because of my job I no longer think I want children.. being a daycare worker has slowly killed my love of kids.. growing up I always said I want atleast 4, now I'm not so sure. Since working here I have given up a few of my friends because when being around them ihave to be around their kids and sinse its after work I don't want to have to deal with their kids.. horrible I know but I have come to the realization that while I love my job and still prefer working with kids instead of adults , on the same level I hate children and no longer wish to have any..