Dec 27, 2013

Heart Surgery is set

My heart surgery is happening. I called the hospital today and scheduled it for January 22nd. It's going to be the biggest surgery I have had. Repairing at least 4 parts of my heart. I also have appointment s on the 9th for Reading test results and another on the 16th for pre-op stuff. I plan to work up until the day before surgery and hope I don't get worse before than. I haven't had the easiest time sleeping or breathing and I have been uber emotional and crying a lot. I have been. Having nightmares about the after.like Dieing and not healing right. Or like B not wanting to be around me or treating me different.I want him to be there when I wake up but I don't in a way, I don't want to have him there. Like I don't want my family with me the whole time. I don't want to be around my family during my recovery. I hate that mom is so effing protective and doesn't want me out of her sight. B wants me to spend time recovering at his house, and I swear if they drive me ready I might just do it. I hate that I will be in the hospital for his birthday and our 1yr anniversary and still in recovery for Valentine's day. Ugh so frustrating.

Dec 20, 2013

Heart Surgery coming

Over the last 2 weeks I have been noticing my heart is having more issues than not. I last saw my cardiologist in September and they said to come back in December. Well Monday was bad, I knew I had an appointment on Tuesday bit wanted to see my Dr too so I got an appointment on Wednesday. Two days at the hospital.  Tuesday was a day of tests.  I had a transesophegeal ultrasound and they found something they weren't sure about and ordered a ct. 7 hrs later I left the hospital frazzled. So much uncertainty. Wednesday I met with the Dr's and learned that they saw things they weren't expecting. What they thought would only be 1 or 2 things was really 4 and some that they wouldn't know how to fix until they go in. They decided that surgery will be open heart and will be sooner rather than later, we have hit our window and they are taking it. I meet with the surgeon next Thursday to discuss options and hopefully a timeline.

I went in to work Wednesday and was a complete mess I talked to my boss and told her my situation. Recovery time is 8 to 12 weeks and she and her husband are willing to keep me covered on insurance and just have me pay the monthly stuff when I return. I was so greatful they are willing to help. Still very stressed but it's a bit easier knowing a fix is coming.