Feb 27, 2010

so this morning i woke up with Hate burning fire red on my leg. it didnt hurt it was just strange its not even a new scar.. thats all just thought i would say it

Feb 20, 2010

Civility

Civil? Civil! i will only be civil if you are.. its your fault we arent friends. and i am not sorry i didnt come crawling back for your friendship after you told me to leave you alone. you are the one who wanted me completely out of your life.. so i am.. its not my fauld your children love me more than their horrible mother..

seriously?

SO basically in the past few months i have had 4 different guys tell me that if i was willing to have sex with them they would leave the girls they are with and start dating me, or would consider dating me just because. Do they really think that will get me to date the? seriously. its ridiculous

Feb 16, 2010

I'm getting sick of the person I am... I need to change for the better if I am ever going to like myself. But to do that means to change a lot involving my eating habits, my health, and my actions. I'm tired of being the person who does something and the next day ends up hating myself for it.

Feb 7, 2010

160 days self injury free! Wow yay me!

Feb 6, 2010

My dream

Ok so last night I had a dream that kind spoke to me. Not sure what it said to me but yeah. My sister and I were sitting at institute in a spot to the far right where we never sit and as we sat the girl next to us said she missed us. A few minutes later Andrew came and sat practically on my hip he was so close. He told me that his parents said that they wanted me to come to ellensburg with them next summer for their family vacation. I said yes and the next thing I know he has his head on my shoulder and I'm playing with his hair as if we are dating now. Then in walks the guy I was pretty much in love with growing up and he sat across the isle smiling at me. After class we went back to my house for a party and I looked outside and saw a car pull up knowing it was this guy named Andy from highschool who I was tthe guy who I was always exchanging playful banter with. He got out of the car and his friend erica(who died in high school in a roll over crash) got out of the drivers seat when he saw me he wished me happy birthday and came into the house. Erica was saying she knew my dad because she worked at the local chocolate factory and dad came in like once a week just to watch them make the chocolates. It was strange. And we got to hang out for a bit until I woke up.

Feb 4, 2010

Today I had 2 people tell me that if I lost a little more weight I would look like a barbie. I didn't know whether to be offended or flattered.